The idea for the novel came to me one day while I was busy chewing my toenails. You see, I find the idea quite repulsive but when one is a backpacker, you would even sink so low as to begin writing. Despite my own objections I managed to put my foot aside for a second and grabbed a pen and paper and started jotting down notes.

After a few minutes of frantic jotting down I realized that I was pretty good at shorthand and admired my own skills. This triumph was short-lived though because I realized soon after that one also need to be able to read what you jotted down, otherwise it is a little like playing scrabble against your dog. Sure you win every time, but it leaves a hollow victory afterwards, doesn't it? Come on, be honest!

So I decided to sink to a new depth and go out and WORK. Now I consider myself a very liberal person, despite what all those bigoted conformists say about my overdue membership fees, so I sat down and considered the idea of actually getting my butt up from the chair and go out and do some work so that I can afford equipment that would enable me to jot things down in a very neat way. A way that would enable me to actually read it again afterwards.

Now, as you should all know, there is no use in just simply rushing into things, so I decided to sit down again and consider things carefully. This took some considerable time to achieve though, as I found that someone nicked my chair while I was standing, thinking about huge ideas, and I had to find out who had committed such a needless and heinous crime.

Once I managed to relocate my chair and then lug the dentures of the unfortunate fiend from my knuckles, I considered things for a moment. Or three, I don't quite recall now.

Now I am not sure if I actually heaved my own carcass to my first manual labour job or if someone forcefully evicted me from my chair, but the end result turned out the same, so it does not really matter in the end. The next thing I knew I found myself in someone else's restaurant, washing dishes I never had the privilege of enjoying a meal out of. I washed dishes that night until I started experiencing strange hallucinations. Someone managed to take the various chemicals away from right under my nose before I drifted off too far and I started feeling better.

After a few nights of washing dishes I found a more respectable job and soon had enough money to buy what I needed. This didn't stop me though and I find myself to this day firmly employed, edifying the Germanic language of the Commonwealth in the Czech Republic. If enough of you can go out and procure this paperback then I can kick this disgusting habit and get back to my old self.

To whet your appetites, click here for some excerpts from Frozen Toast.